Suppose, a kid sees a chocolate at a grocery store and says to his father “I want this”. To which his father replies “I’ll buy you another one”. A person whom his or her partner leaves by saying “you deserve someone better”. You see, both the cases are absolutely different from one another, but they one thing in common that both include disappointments. And the disappointments exist because there were expectations. The kid had faced this for the first time. There was a massive quantity of chocolates but his father didn’t buy him one. And same goes for the person who was deceived. But that man or that woman who faced that unexpected outcome, if they look at what the boy faced they may go like “Ah, that’s silly”. Reason being they’ve faced that thing before, and they grew up. They did let-go. And the only thing they both realized is that it was too obvious a thing to happen. You don’t get everything what you want in life.
One thing that is noticeable when you face such a suffering is that- to some extent you become a little bit less attached to everything that you have or everything you get. Because you subconsciously develop a notion that clinging leads to suffering. And that’s absolutely true.
And so you may ask- “What if I stop clinging? Should I get completely detached from everything in general?”
Here the first thing to understand is that there’s nothing morally inappropriate or bad in getting attached to anything. It’s human tendency to develop attachment with people and things over a period of time. But philosophically telling, to not to be devoid of that one thing; when you have it at the same time you must let-go of it. You talk to your friends- you have them. The conversation ends, you leave- you let-go. Next time you have them again. This is how it all works.
Considering the most beautiful time of our lives, the school life. When it gets over friends are separated. But you are not hurt as much as you get when you break-up. Now to this you might say that in friendship there are no feelings involved. And that’s true. That’s what the point is. You are not as much attached in friendship, as much as you are in a relationship. You don’t cling. You can have as many friends as you want, but partner… only one. In one case you give very little of your energy to a single person. Because a particular amount of energy is distributed among so many people that even if you lose one person or two, you’re not at a big loss. But on the other hand if you lose your girlfriend or boyfriend, that enormous amount of energy that you had invested in a single person is all gone at once. And that’s painful. Plus there’s no other option left with you than to face it. It’s a Zen proverb- “Obstacles don’t block the path. They are the path”. In the same way you are not ought to suppress it. Else what happens is that you blow it up more and more with negative energy. So best you can do is to simply let it out. Soon you realize it’s better to have a passion, invest your energy in your work and develop an attachment there. Because unlike humans, passion has no will of it’s own. There’s no loss if you start to work upon yourself. In fact you’ll only grow on the contrary. There’s no risk involved. And this is what you call as evolution.
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